Thursday, May 5, 2011

Why I should be guarded...

Over the last week, my hubband has once again been absent due to work, and, once again, I am able to prove my incompetence as a human being in the abscence of a full time babysitter of my person. As always with these trips, I have barely slept. And, as always, this leads to amusing anecdotes of pain, mosfortune and plain idioct stemming from my deprivation of sleep, company and rationality. So today, I shall share with you my week.

Monday, after three hours sleep I got up at 6am to usher him into a taxi. I then believed I was about to start my week well, and attempted to go back to sleep...shit, this week isnt starting so well :P Sleep, why do we have to be enemies, my darling one? So, I crawled through Monday with the rationality of a brain starved zombie, feeding on anything caffienated I could get my havnds upon and muttering incoherent drivel of insult at any cheerful face I happened to come across. At some point I realised I was loving every minute of it, and my day took a nose dive at this realisation, because this must mark the departure of my last essential piece of sanity. Oh well, didn't need that anyhow!

Tuesday, I woke up, got dressed, did my make up, thought my day was going awesomly, believed it was the best Monday ever. Then I had lunch out with a friend, and when I came home, I forgot to remove my finger from the door resulting in a new lesson in the art of language for any listening ears. To cap it off, I logged into my computer at 9pm thinking 'well, at least its monday, I can play WoW to help with my insomnia', apparently it was Tuesday. Damnit. Underworld marathon, here I come baby!

Wednesday I awoke with 5 hours sleep under my belt, a beautiful record, just in time to rescue a parcel from the postie at my door, and realise the nightlare of family legal tangles landing in my lap. With the obligatory swearing, I then looked through them, and instantly decided to spend my day with legal aid, and a swear for you, one for me, one for you...
Just when I thought it was done, my day was great again, I had chowder, a gorgeous mixer drink, lovely music...I kicked a wine rack. At high speed. With my foot. I originally tjhought I was fine, but then the blood came, and then the blood came and then...well, I have to clean my bathroom from its crimson glaze. Luckily I had an awesome friend on hand nearby who was quick to come and dash me to the emergency department where they decided my foot was not about to fall off from any abnormalities, and I would require stitches, and would I mind waiting until close to dawn in the emergency room with a towel around my dripping foot in case I got blood on their floors? Of course, I would love to spend my Wednesday night here. I would love it so much in fact that my friend and I had the whole room in gales of laughter shortly before I was called in to be attended to.

15 attempts at filling my foot with local anaesthetic later, I had 5 stitches, multiple needle holes where they had tried to stitch me, a tetanus shot, bandages, pain killers, tape, no end of bad jokes, no sleep and a 6am sunrise special. You know what? I dont think leaving me alone is wise. At all. Seriously, it just asks for trouble :P So I spent the day with my mother in law, making bonsai's, annoying her dog with my dog and drinking copious tea, because there is nothing better!

Tomorrow, the last day, is another day. I plan to not move from my computer for the whole day in an attempt to at least preserve my life until such time as I can place it again in the hands of another for the time being, as lets face it folks, I appear safer that way! For now, good night, and with it comes the hope that I shall live to post another entertaining update of uncoordination another day ^^

Because I Can

No comments:

Post a Comment