Dear Toe

I understand I have offended you. I understand that I hurt you, and upset you. I know I made us bleed, and that you had to get stitches. But, over all, I have spent the time since then looking after you. I have coddled you, washed you and redressed you every day. I have sat with you resting and bored myself silly doing nothing *but* make sure you are feeling ok.

I know, I know, taking you shopping tonight probably was not the best plan in the world. I could have thought that one through. But I was very careful to put as little weight on you as I possibly could, and it wasn't like I had a choice about carrying groceries! And even then I tried to be kind to you and put all the weight on my other side...

However this week has been great. I haven't done more than a couple of sinkfuls of dishes on you this week, remember? And I hung washing on the clothes horse, inside, while sitting on the couch. THAT didn't stress you at all. I have, in fact, left all the house work alone. Including leaving the blood in the bathroom floor from when I hurt you! All so I could let you rest. I think I have been pretty amazing to you this week, all things acounted for.

So, I know I havent been the best carer in the whole world. But I did get you antibiotics, and I do care for you a lot. And apart from a couple of things, I have treated you amazingly and perfectly as ordered by the doctor and Tane all week! So...could you please explain why, after a week of such wonderful treatment, you are now acting like a tantruming child and trying to cause me as much pain as you can? If you cannot explain, I shall possibly get agressive. Like 'walking the dog with you' agressive. Especially considering I shall not be medicating you tomorrow.

Yours,

Letdown Owner.


Because I Can

An Educational Week

I live by the view point that if I fail to learn something new each day, then it was not a day worth having had. If I go too many days without learning something I become upset and strive to change my life so I am able to learn something new, even if it is nothing more than a stray, interesting fact...such as the fact that Georgia was the historical home of wine!

Now, this past week, I must say I have learned a lot. I have been lonely, extremely tired, grumpy, injured and all out having a bad week. But I have learned so, so much.

I have learned that I have some amazingly awesome friends. I got messages from a couple of people the first night I was alone for the week, after my hubby left on a business trip, asking if I was lonely, ow I was sleeping, if I was going to be ok. And when I injured myself and needed stitches, a friend did not hesitate to race around, and take me to the emergency department, spending a sleepless night with me and my extremely bruitsalised foot. Said friend even made sure that I didn't have a moment of silence while we waited for hours fro the doctor to stitch me up, and kept me laughing the whole time, and my mind off my injury. And as soon as I let it be known that I was injured I was overwhelmed with text messages and face book emails asking if I needed help, offering me a place to stay next time he's away, and sinply wishing me well. So that was a lesson for my week.

Another, less painful lesson I learned was that when I am extremely tired, especially in the beautiful hours after midnight and just before dawn, I love to use chalks. To draw, to shade, to create, and if I don't have them to use, I become twitchy, grumpy,m and upset. What suprised me about this was the fact that I never realised this before, despite having used chalks in these hours many times before; I guess not having them makes the relation to them and late hours more marked :P

I have learned that my family are amazing. My husband is a wonderful person, and I have learned more with each day how wonderful he is, and how much I need him here (I need you to let me sleep now dear!) and how much I truly miss him when he is unable to be by my side. I have also learned exactly how much my attention span and ability to conduct a normal life are effected by his abscence; its like I become that kid with ADHD who cant do anything for more than 5 minutes, combined with enough hyperactivity to cause me to end up unable to sleep, dancing round my living room at 4am singing along to Pink. I mean, hell no >< And my mother in law; she never hesitated to give me a lift, or to come and pick me up to baby me and force me to take care of my injury.

And you know, I even discovered a new support in my own imediate family, which I would never have suspected. I mean, we burned a hell of a lot of bridges between us over the years, and at this point in my life I had decided there was never going to be a time that they were there for me. And yet when I called them with a problem this week they didnt hesitate to tell me to stop worrying, they had it covered. So I learned that maybe I have been a little harsh on some of them myself in recent years, maybe I should give them another chance...well, some of them. Not mother :P

So, despite this having been very similar to the week from hell for me, I know that it was a valuable week in my life, and for that I treasure it. I would regret my life without having had the enriching lessons that I found this past week. I also learned a lot about other people this week, about all the different personalities that surround us every day, and about how they all interact; how easy it is to make a whole emergency room laugh. So, despite it having been a bad week in some respects, I do believe this was a really, really good week :) Thank you very much to the people who made it such, and the events that shaped it :)

Because I Can

Why I should be guarded...

Over the last week, my hubband has once again been absent due to work, and, once again, I am able to prove my incompetence as a human being in the abscence of a full time babysitter of my person. As always with these trips, I have barely slept. And, as always, this leads to amusing anecdotes of pain, mosfortune and plain idioct stemming from my deprivation of sleep, company and rationality. So today, I shall share with you my week.

Monday, after three hours sleep I got up at 6am to usher him into a taxi. I then believed I was about to start my week well, and attempted to go back to sleep...shit, this week isnt starting so well :P Sleep, why do we have to be enemies, my darling one? So, I crawled through Monday with the rationality of a brain starved zombie, feeding on anything caffienated I could get my havnds upon and muttering incoherent drivel of insult at any cheerful face I happened to come across. At some point I realised I was loving every minute of it, and my day took a nose dive at this realisation, because this must mark the departure of my last essential piece of sanity. Oh well, didn't need that anyhow!

Tuesday, I woke up, got dressed, did my make up, thought my day was going awesomly, believed it was the best Monday ever. Then I had lunch out with a friend, and when I came home, I forgot to remove my finger from the door resulting in a new lesson in the art of language for any listening ears. To cap it off, I logged into my computer at 9pm thinking 'well, at least its monday, I can play WoW to help with my insomnia'....no, apparently it was Tuesday. Damnit. Underworld marathon, here I come baby!

Wednesday I awoke with 5 hours sleep under my belt, a beautiful record, just in time to rescue a parcel from the postie at my door, and realise the nightlare of family legal tangles landing in my lap. With the obligatory swearing, I then looked through them, and instantly decided to spend my day with legal aid, and a swear jar...one for you, one for me, one for you...
Just when I thought it was done, my day was great again, I had chowder, a gorgeous mixer drink, lovely music...I kicked a wine rack. At high speed. With my foot. I originally tjhought I was fine, but then the blood came, and then the blood came and then...well, I have to clean my bathroom from its crimson glaze. Luckily I had an awesome friend on hand nearby who was quick to come and dash me to the emergency department where they decided my foot was not about to fall off from any abnormalities, and I would require stitches, and would I mind waiting until close to dawn in the emergency room with a towel around my dripping foot in case I got blood on their floors? Of course, I would love to spend my Wednesday night here. I would love it so much in fact that my friend and I had the whole room in gales of laughter shortly before I was called in to be attended to.

15 attempts at filling my foot with local anaesthetic later, I had 5 stitches, multiple needle holes where they had tried to stitch me, a tetanus shot, bandages, pain killers, tape, no end of bad jokes, no sleep and a 6am sunrise special. You know what? I dont think leaving me alone is wise. At all. Seriously, it just asks for trouble :P So I spent the day with my mother in law, making bonsai's, annoying her dog with my dog and drinking copious tea, because there is nothing better!

Tomorrow, the last day, is another day. I plan to not move from my computer for the whole day in an attempt to at least preserve my life until such time as I can place it again in the hands of another for the time being, as lets face it folks, I appear safer that way! For now, good night, and with it comes the hope that I shall live to post another entertaining update of uncoordination another day ^^

Because I Can