Sunday, February 20, 2011

Topsy Turvy Houseland!

My household has been making a few adjustments recently, and so everyone, that being my hubby, 2 cats and myself, has been at least a little on edge. It has really been a humungous learning curve. Sadly...we are not finished yet! :P

To my dear cats: I would absolutely love it if you would learn the new location of the litter tray. It has been there for THREE GODAMNED WEEKS now. Surely that is long enough to stop shitting beside my washing machine and peeing in my basket of clean but nmot yet hung washing? Also, how is it that whenever I have the laundry door closed you never miss the tray. Freaks :P

Now, I'll admit, the lives of my cats have been hell recently. I recently took on an awesome dog. A BIG dog. A friendly dog. A ridgeback x mastiff, to be precise, who at 9 years old is a senior citizen and an old family friend. As you could believe, my cats are not too fond of this; their first reaction was total disbelief - You're kidding, that is TOTALLY not staying in my house Mum- followed instantly with an attempt to look like a capital A, loosing half a kilo of fur between them, demonstrating their ability to spit like champions and then a complete lack of cat throughout most of my house. One of them is still sitting in the cupboard in my room in the deepest darkest part she can find and ordering room service daily.

I suppose it really isn't helping her nerves that my husband's homebrew beer recently decided that it loved the idea of exploding, showering my computer room in beer and glass shards, and setting the dog off into excited barking, rapidly followed by terrified hissing from the cats who were certain that any noise from the dog meant she was hungry, specifically for cat. I sat on my laundry floor unable to breathe through laughter while thinking "No one is crazier than me..."

And on Friday night the man and I fly to Kuala Lumpur. For a week. And leave our best friends with our loving dog, our terrified closet cat and the other terrified manly cat. Who thinks that attacking the dog is way better than trying to just ignore her. I am totally leaving my phone at home and enjoying a week where I can pretend that these animals are ABSOLUTELY not my fault, problem or concern.

What I have learned so far: A cat who thinks that strange looking animla outside the window may be hostile can put their paw through a flyscreen in abnout .2 of a second flat with no effort, and you only hear the hissing afterward.
When they hear cars hissing, dogs start barking in a cheerful, and totally unhelpful, manner. This results in a new hat consisting of 1 Angry Cat for me.
Do not even bother vaccuming for at least a week after introducing a new dog to your cats. Those cats hate you so much they will actively shed on everything they can, and by shed I mean they were saving it all for this occasion.
Sitting on the floor and laughing slightly hysterically will freak your cats out more. It will also cause the man to come running in asking in increasingly worried tones whats wrong, while all you can do is gasp in the occasional breathe and cackle senslessly through the tears.
Ah, the educational wonders...

Because I can

No comments:

Post a Comment