Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Torture in a Shopping Centre

Today, I learned a few things, and also stumbled across some awesome. The awesome that I stumbled across was that, after only a week of looking for work, I have gained employment! And so via that we lead on to the multitude of annoyingly horrid facts I learned today.

Firstly comes the horrifying realisation that, despite the awesome fact that one now has employment, one neads a work wardrobe and would happily shoot oneself before venturing into the shopping centre. During school holidays. While towing the long suffering but awesomely patient boyfriend. At least HE gets to sit around playing Suduko while I run around madly from rack to rack bemoaning the utter uselessness of all the CRAP they call 'work wear' in the lady's fashion section. Seriously ladies, when did a paper bag covered in a ton of badly placed over enthusiastic frill become fashionable? Or even wearable? I mean...where the heck are the sleeves?!

And then, you run into a problem. Children. Or more specifically, that enemy age group better known as...Teenagers. Horrible, smirking, smelly little shits who sit in the middle of the isle, somehow taking up ALL the room so the only thing you can do is really, squeeze around them or make a point of stopping and asking them to move. By the end of the day (4 hours of grueling annoying shopping for clothing; whoever said women love it should be shot) I was no longer willing to put up with their self centred ways. Breezing through Woolworths I made the boyfriend crack up when, instead of slowing and asking this final teen to move, I simply breezed on toward him, got to the 50cm point and bellowed "MOVE!" without slowing down. He jumped about half a foot, and I swear I have NEVER seen a teenager move so godamned fast in my life.

Also, what the F is with the latest craze in shoes? Don't get me wrong; I have a liking for good shoes just like the next woman. For example, I currently have 4 pairs; thats heaps right? Anyhow, I was looking for a set of shoes; medium heel, black, leather preferable but not necessary, open toed but partially closed; your average receptionist heels really. And you know what? I couldn't find any. I found PLENTY with hooker heel heights. I found plenty of horrifyingly bad ballet flats...but not a flamming THING in normal, medium heeled open toe shoes.

Seriously people, fashion pisses me off on the best of days, which today should have been due to my new job and the most patiently awesome boyfriend following me round with infinite patience in my erratic rambling way of shopping, but WOW I hate clothing shopping. MAJORLY.

Give me a good sammies and 5 minutes tops any day.

Because I Can

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