Tuesday, March 22, 2011

My Study on Humanities Quest for Idiocy

Well, I've been having a ball recently. No, really! I have become fascinated with the lengths people unconsciously go to to in order to unknowingly become an idiot, and by fascinated I mean 'is watching avidly and has forgotten that the popcorn exists'.

I called the bank 4 weeks ago to get my card reissued with my married name on it; having worked in a similar industry I know that issuing a card like that is very easy indeed. So I breezed through the process, cheerily said goodbye to the young lady on the other end of the phone...and opened my mail the next week in bemused amazment. I had an awesome, shiny new card...with my old name. Take two, I called back, tried it all again, and the next week got the right name on the card (Check!) and...no pin number. Seriously people, where is my pin?! So...take three...they agreed to just dodgify some facts in the system and allow me to continue using my old pin as neither the call centre or I trust that another mail out is going to get it right :P

And my fence! THAT is an ongoing saga and a half, let me tell you! :P It's been broken for coming up three months now, and the fencing company is regaling me with a series of awesomely funny excuses as to why they cannot fix it yet; I say funny as some of them are os bad they directly contradict their earlier statments. Firstly they 'would get to it next week, we have what we need to fix it, but we have a lot of other jobs to do'. Fine, I can deal with that. Then they tried to tell the strata company they had already fixed it; how stupid do they think I am?! And now they tell me 'we can't get the materials to fix it right now due to the cyclone in Queensland, we'll try to fix it bt the end of the month'. HOW stupid do they believe me to be? I'm not sure, but they've got the strata company, hook line and sinker. What I want to know is how the materials they had two months ago to fix my fence ended up in Queensland?

Here's the prize of the day; a tale from the recent travels of my husband and I. And it totally beats the previous ones, infact, it's my unquestioned favourite. The man and I decided to take a train from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, to Singapore...Singapore. Don't do it, it's disgusting. Anyhow, after an appaling 7 hours travel, only 4 of which the train had spent actually moving at all, we arrive at the check point just inside the Singaporean boarder. Hop off the train, passports at the ready, and we're all faced with BIG signs that looked like this:

There was a lot of writing underneath in not english, but basically it meant 'we're serious, don't p*ss us off, kk?' My husband and I respected that sign, and we obeyed. Just after that we were waiting in line to have our passports checked and two things happened. One, we saw another sign that looked like this:

but with a list of things under it that went like this: We can and will confiscate and delete any pictures you take. We can and will arrest you, charge you, fine you. We may shoot you.

This being Singapore, we believed them. LOTS. Secondly, we started chatting to an american dude in the line with us, recently from Thailand. Finally, we got to the front, passed through uneventfully, and lined up to get back on the train...and waited to be allowed. And waited. FINALLY 45 minutes later here comes the american dude. Hi, what kept you? we asked. Oh, I took a picture, and they got all upset, and started yelling, and took me into a room and made me give them my camera, and they deleted the photo, I'm really not happy about it hey! We looked at him for a few seconds. Did you see the signs saying 'dont take photos' at all? we asked. Sure enough... Yeah, thats what I was taking a photo of!
And if thats not bad enough: Didn't you see the other signs that basically said 'don't annoy us, we will shoot you?
OH WOW, where are they?! They would make AWESOME photo's to show the dudes back home!!

So there we have it; my study on humanities attempt, albeit unconsciously, to become completely bafflingly idiotic. It has been awesome fun!

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